THERAPY FOR COUPLES
IN ORANGE COUNTY

WHAT IS COUPLES THERAPY?

Improve your communication and how you feel about each other.

Oftentimes couples come to therapy when they think that something is missing in their relationship. They may not feel not fulfilled, or perhaps they feel they don’t understand one another due to communication difficulties. Individuals may feel disappointed or disillusioned with their partner or their relationship for a variety of reasons.

Trust issues are typically the most commonly shared problems in relationship difficulties. Couples may also decide to come to therapy when they experience a significant life event or transition. For example, having a baby changes the dynamic of the relationship. In many cases, a young family transitions from a couple to a family where the baby may become the center of attention.

These types of issues may be small and manageable at first. Over time, if left unaddressed, this may lead partners to feel disconnected from one another, fail to get their needs met, and may also feel intimately disconnected, due to a lack of regular sexual interactions. Each partner comes out with their own subjective narrative about what is happening in the relationship. Then, one partner often tries to “fix” the problem by pushing the other partner away or punishing them by being resentful and passive. If the other partner is doing the same, a vicious cycle starts which leads both partners to disconnect further.

HOW CAN COUPLES THERAPY HELP MY RELATIONSHIP?

Therapy can help couples navigate a variety of concerns.

Couples may enter therapy to improve communication, work through resentments or difficulties, or simply to understand each other better. Therapy can help couples to resolve ongoing and new problems, and even equip them with necessary tools to navigate a crisis. Often what leads couple into a therapy session is a “relationship catastrophe “ like infidelity in the form of sex, marital affairs, financial infidelity, or emotional affairs where a breach of trust evolved.

Another breach of trust might be when a partner does not protect the other in situations where the protection might be expected. For instance, if an individual is not taking their partner’s side during a disagreement or interaction with one’s family of origin. These types of situations are much more nuanced and not as cut and dry as infidelity, but still may contribute to a diminished sense of trust in a relationship.

Many couples struggle to effectively communicate misunderstandings for various reasons. Childhood trauma or our partner’s upbringing might create triggering reactions that further complicate our attempts at successful communication. This causes some couples to become stuck in the same pattern of fighting and dysfunction.

Therapy helps couples uncover self-defeating behavior and communication patterns and find new, effective ways of communicating and connecting with one another that is based on empathy, curiosity, and respect.

One of the basic tenants for couples therapy is simple and straightforward: If we love each other, we don’t want to hurt the other. Therefore if we want to be together, let’s figure out how to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship with strong communication and understanding.